washington whimsy

A mishmash on showing up

I have been writing a lot about showing up on my Facebook and via Instagram. Wanna know why?

Because writing inspirational captions about why we need to show up each day is much easier then writing a 400 + word blog.

Because it’s hard.

I think I have been doing an ok job at showing up in daily life. I have good days and bad days and all those in between but for the most part I feel capable of walking into a situation and figuring out how to be present.

I don’t like to write about things when I am in the middle of them or when I don’t have a response or when I don’t understand why this or that is happening. I am still figuring out fully why showing up is so hard for me to talk about.

And today was definitely one of those days.

But it’s near the end of today and I think I can fully and truly say that today it was not the greatest.

Today was a day chalk full of memories and phone calls and pain. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I shed a few tears on my way to work. (I shed a few tears at work.)

But I knew, that if I crawled into a hole, if I ignored everything, if I sunk into myself, it wouldn’t be fair to anyone around me. Because I chose to put on my big girl panties and jump into my life, so I was going to do it.

That doesn’t mean it can’t be hard or I can’t have emotions or break. 

Showing up isn’t about being perfect. Showing up is about being present in that moment, with those people, in that situation. It’s about being where you are.

That’s something I have struggled with for a long time. Being present where I am. Not waiting for the next thing, or the next event but choosing today each day. I think that’s why this season of life has been difficult. There isn’t a next thing, or an event. 

I am here.

That’s it.

So, today, after all was said and done, I knew I needed to write more then a caption or status. I needed to admit that it’s hard. That it’s a battle. And that showing up isn’t really a physical thing. It’s mental. Emotional. Bigger then just actually being there.

Showing up is choosing to think of yourself and others at the same time.

We show up for ourselves and then because we show up for ourselves we are more capable to show up for others.

So, please. Don’t just physically be somewhere. Choose to BE there. It isn’t easy. We won’t always get it 100% right. But if we do it, daily, a change will come.

Let’s bring change, shall we?

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